Chapter 1.10 - The Truth Hurts

As children, cousins Quinn and Sophie had lived only one block away from one another in Sunset Valley and they spent so much time together that everyone in town simply referred to them as 'The Hudson Girls'. They dressed very differently with Sophie preferring to stand out in bright dresses while Quinn's mother Lydia only ever bought her T-shirts and jeans. They shared the same long reddish-brown hair however and had similar features so that they were still occasionally mistaken for one another. Those who made the effort to look closely, however, would have seen that Sophie's blue eyes slanted upwards just the tiniest bit while Quinn's eyes were rounder and a dark green.

Although Quinn's father Ted and Sophie's father Bruce were close in age, the men had never been close as brothers. Quinn always suspected that it was because Bruce was the golden child of the family. He was gregarious and witty while her father was quiet and tended to make an effort to blend in to the background. Lydia used this to her advantage most of the time and ruled their home with an iron fist so Quinn would disappear with Sophie as often as possible, while her father hid his face in books.

The girls spent most of their time together making up fantastical worlds where Sophie became 'Fee' and Quinn turned in to 'Queeny' but deep down Quinn knew that their escapism served a different purpose for each of them. Sophie wanted to leave their small town and even as a child she was planning her future in a big city somewhere. She complained that Sunset Valley wasn't fancy or exciting enough. Quinn just wanted to be liberated from her mother's perpetually nasty grasp in any way that she could. Creating magical scenarios where the two of them found a mysterious door that lead them both far away from their small town temporarily relieved Quinn of her dark, unpleasant home life.

They spent entire afternoons making each other laugh. Sophie was especially good at impersonating celebrities and would keep Quinn howling until her sides ached. No matter how many times her mother called her ugly or stupid, yanked her hair or screamed, when Quinn was with Sophie, everything seemed like it would be okay. Anything seemed possible.

As the years passed and they entered their teens, the differences between them became more pronounced. Sophie's natural vivacious energy easily attracted people in to her orbit. Quinn was always included in the social events or the parties in the park, but she usually sat on the sidelines as she watched her cousin shine as brightly as the stars that hung in the sky over their small town. She did not begrudge Sophie her happiness but she could not help but sometimes wonder why she was unable to make friends or talk to boys the way Sophie did. She would occasionally ask herself if it was because she was just as ugly and stupid as her mother had always told her she was and, eventually, Quinn would end up feeling rather grateful that Sophie included her at all.

During Quinn's freshman year in high school, her father had a heart attack and died. Quinn was bereft - in part because her father, although he had never stood up for her, was at least a kind man, if a bit of a coward. Also she was left alone with her mother. The man who had acted in some small way as a buffer for Quinn was gone. 

She and Sophie still spent time together. They still laughed and sketched out their future. Sophie talked about being famous and Quinn agreed that she would be Sophie's personal photographer but slowly, their conversations seemed to shift from fantasy to reality.

Sophie, who was two years older than Quinn, was finishing her last year of high school and all she seemed to want to talk about was where she would move after graduation. Sophie was determined to be an actress in a big city. "When you graduate, you can come and live with me Queeny!" she would say with a faraway look in her eyes.

At first, Sophie's excitement was contagious and Quinn would project herself in to some vague, unknown future as they discussed all the possibilities, from New York and Los Angeles, to Bridgeport and St. Claire. 

As Sophie's 18th birthday came ever closer however, Quinn became disenchanted with talking about Sophie's great escape. Slowly but surely it was becoming a reality instead of just an idea and Quinn's nerves, already frayed from her time at home, became increasingly raw every time her cousin brought up the subject of leaving. The week before Sophie's birthday, she dropped by Quinn's house when Lydia was mercifully out playing Bingo. 

"So Quinn," Sophie began with great formality. "I know that graduation isn't for a few days but I think I'm going to skip it. It's just a piece of paper after all. So I'm here to say goodbye before I leave." Quinn paused, waiting for the punchline that never came. With a sinking feeling, she realized that Sophie wasn't kidding around.

"Are you serious Fee? I mean, isn't this kind of sudden?"

Sophie laughed incredulously. "We've been talking about this for like, a decade! How could it possibly be sudden?"

"Where will you go?" Quinn managed to whisper. "And when?"

"I've decided on St. Claire," Sophie answered with a grin. "Robbie has family there and he said that I could catch a ride with him and stay there with them for a bit until I find a job." Quinn felt herself automatically pushing the palms of her hands against her eyes in an effort to keep her tears from spilling. 

"We're actually leaving first thing in the morning so we - Oh Queeny. Please don't cry," Sophie begged as Quinn's efforts to hold back the flow of tears became evident.

Sophie stood up and dragged Quinn up with her, engulfing her in warm hug. "You know you can visit me whenever you want. Just let me get settled. And then in a couple of years you can come out and live with me!" She squeezed Quinn close to her chest and smoothed a hand over Quinn's back. "I promise. You know I love you," she whispered, her voice catching slightly. 

And then she was gone.

A year later, Quinn had still not heard a word from Sophie. There was not a phone call, an email or even a postcard. Sometimes at night she would wake up in a cold sweat, out of the depths of the same nightmare where Sophie was drowning and Quinn couldn't save her because she couldn't find her. She kept calling her uncle to casually ask how Sophie was doing but her questions were met with vague answers and nebulous replies and after a while she simply gave up.

One Friday night when Lydia had gone to bed early and Quinn was lounging on the couch in front of their old black and white TV, she flipped the channel and was shocked to see Sophie on the screen. 

Sophie was either wearing a wig or she had dyed her hair blonde plus she'd been done up with a lot of fancy make up, but Quinn would have known that face anywhere. She leaned forward in her seat and watched the only friend she'd ever had say something to the man she was dancing with on screen, but Quinn's mind wasn't paying attention to the words. Her first feeling was gratitude that Sophie was okay. And next came the confusion. And then the realization. And, finally, the anger. 

Quinn pushed herself to do the best she could in school even when she felt so low that she wished she would just dry up like an autumn leaf and disintegrate in to the wind. There were times when she allowed her anger to fuel her, pushing her forward until high school was over. But then Lydia had gotten sick. By that time Quinn was running on fumes and her anger had metastasized in to a dull, throbbing depression. 

She waited on the day of her mother's funeral for Sophie to show up. Surely her cousin would take time out of her busy life of being a movie star to attend her aunt's funeral, Quinn thought bitterly. But Lydia's unkind ways had apparently followed her to the grave and it was just Quinn and their next door neighbour George who watched as Lydia was lowered in to the ground.

After that, she would see photos of Sophie as she browsed through magazines in the supermarket checkout line. She ignored the headlines that announced "At Home With Sophie Hudson!" and just looked at the photos. Quinn wasn't sure what she was looking for exactly...maybe just a glimpse of the old Sophie...of Fee. 

Her beautiful cousin now had long, blond hair that cascaded perfectly around her face, upon which sat a much smaller nose. Her slim body also seemed to support a much larger set of breasts.

Quinn would wince and place the magazine back on the stand and make her way home, secure in the knowledge that her best friend and closest ally was truly gone.

*I had a lot of trouble shooting these scenes so there are some key photographs missing. Sadly, aging the girls down to kids and teens warped them a bit so, like Queeny and Fee, you'll have to use your imagination a little bit with this chapter :/