Chapter 1.6 - Summer Times

As first year finals approached, the dorm began to show signs of students buckling down and actually studying. The halls were quiet after 7:PM and Quinn rarely saw Kaz unless they were both hard at work in their room. And even then, Quinn was furiously editing her photographs while Kaz stood in the corner in front of her easel creating breathtaking pieces of art.

Kaz never appeared to stress over her paintings. In fact, while she had a brush in hand, she often seemed to be transported elsewhere. It's as if she's vibrating at a different frequency from the rest of us, Quinn mused. Quinn could laze on the loveseat behind Kaz for hours and end up in an almost trance-like state as she watched her friend's fingers dance across the canvas. 

Quinn, as much as she loved photography, always felt like she was one step behind the rest of her classmates. Sometimes she wondered to herself if they'd made some sort of horrible mistake letting her in to Hearst. Maybe it was a clerical error? she speculated ruefully one night as she she took her 145th shot of the St. Claire Fine Arts building for her Architectural Elements class.

She sighed as she walked back to the dorm, her camera dangling heavily from her neck. It was as if no matter where she went, her past was haunting her. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of St. Claire city, not to mention Kaz's more frequent and insistent attempts to get her to seriously consider moving there after college. 

When she arrived back at the dorm, she noticed Kaz had passed out on the long couch in the normally bustling living room. She caught herself smiling as she stood watching her friend in repose. Kaz was so vibrant while awake that there was something almost funny about watching her sleep - as if someone had clicked some hidden 'off' button which would only reanimate her lovely friend once the switch was turned back to 'on'. 

Holy shit I'm tired, Quinn thought as she left Kaz to the soft couch and made her way upstairs to bed.

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The loud boom of the F-15s from the airshow muffled Kaz's words, even as she leaned forward to speak them. Quinn, careful not to tip over any chess pieces also leaned in trying to make out what Kaz was saying. She snorted loudly as she watched her friend waving her arms around while her lips moved, but the only sound that seemed to be coming out of them was the tail end of the plane's departure. 

"Whaaaaat!? Why do you laugh?" Kaz said crossly, sticking out her bottom lip for emphasis while doing a fairly spot on imitation of one of their Hungarian friends Zofia. "Did I move the crook the wrong way again?" now speaking with a solid southern accent. Jesus Murphy and all the Saints!" she declared dramatically.

"I'd tell you it's called a rook and not a crook but I know that you're just being an ass," Quinn said mildly. "Maybe you should have applied to the drama program instead of art?" Quinn suggested archly, raising an eyebrow as she took her Bishop and wiped out Kaz's 'crook' in one swipe. Her friend gave her a sharp look which teetered between annoyance and begrudging respect.

"Ha ha ha." Quinn made a face at her before going back to studying the board. 

It turned out that all of Quinn's worrying about her exams had been for naught. She had aced her finals and even gotten a compliment from McCaffrey on her progress throughout the year. Kaz had also done so well that one of her paintings was currently gracing one of the coveted spots on the wall in the entrance to the administration building.

Since finals had ended they had been spending their summer break enjoying some of the amenities that their college town had on offer. Although some of the first year students had gone home, both Quinn and Kaz along with several of their dormmates had elected to stay on campus, with Kaz muttering something about her parents. When Quinn questioned her about it, Kaz just waved the question away and changed the topic.

Quinn had been determined to teach Kaz chess but her friend seemed more intent on inventing something that resembled a confusing mixture of checkers and battleship.

Quinn exhaled defeatedly as she realized that Kaz was perfectly content to create her own game out of the carefully sculpted black and white game pieces. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes against the blazing sun as she hazily concluded that there was possibly some serious symbolism attached to that thought.

"So" Quinn began, opening her eyes "are we still planning on meeting up for that Girl Picnic?" Kaz snickered in response. "It's technically just a regular picnic which happens to be planned with a bunch of chicks. I'm not sure that makes it a Girl Picnic exactly...." she trailed off as she absently banged two pawns together.

Quinn could tell that Kaz was getting frustrated. And she knew why too, but she didn't want to get in to the same old St. Claire debate all over again. There was a gentle breeze in the air as the sun beat down upon them and Quinn wanted nothing more than a bit of peace on this beautiful summer day. 

Quinn tried again, smiling broadly and comically waggling her eyebrows at Kaz. "So...hungry for a regular, run-of-the-mill picnic that just happens to involve an all girl cast of eaters?" Kaz's shoulders relaxed a bit and she relented, her lips curling up in to a smile. "Yassssss!" 

After a meal of roasted chicken and potato salad, they lingered for a while trading gossip with a few of the girls. Someone announced that there was going to be a bonfire down by Fountain Pond that evening and Zofia added that she'd heard that Jacob was going to be there, giving Quinn a pointed look. 

Quinn blushed slightly at the comment. She had seen Jacob around the campus after the keg party, but only in passing and without any alcohol flowing through Quinn's veins, she had mostly mumbled at him while fumbling with her knapsack. 

Kaz pulled her aside and gave her one of one of those twinkling looks that Quinn knew meant that Kaz had an idea brewing.

"Listen..." her friend began. "You know I love and adore all things Quinn, yes?" Quinn nodded her head slowly wondering where this was going.

"Okay, so you're this beautiful, amazing person but you kind of slink around in your T-shirts and jeans. And that damned bun!" she exclaimed waving a hand at Quinn's apparently offensive hair. 

"Um...ouch?" replied Quinn. She realized that she was unconsciously patting her hair and stiffly forced her arm down to her side. "What's wrong with my bun? Or my clothes for that matter?" As the words came out of her mouth however, a part of her couldn't help agreeing with Kaz. She'd had the very same thoughts on occasion but she had kept them to herself, feeling slightly uncertain about how to go about changing herself. She felt the desire to transform her look, as though it was the final piece of the old 'Sunset Valley Quinn' that needed to be purged. On the other hand, Kaz was a huge fan of buns herself, albeit more fashionable ones. She was about to point this out when her friend shook her head effusively.

"First, it's not 'ouch' like a question. If you're pissed, just say it. I know I can be a bit blunt sometimes," she said, her lips curving in a somewhat rueful grin. "Second, there is nothing inherently wrong with what you're wearing. It just lacks...erm..." her eyes brightened. "It lacks the energy of the Quinn-tessential you!" Kaz exclaimed poking her finger right in Quinn's mid-section. "You see what I did there?" she asked wryly.

Quinn couldn't help smiling even as she rolled her eyes. Only Kaz could turn an insult in to some kind of pseudo coaching session. "So," Quinn sighed, forming her words carefully, "what do you propose, my blue-haired seer of all things fashion related?"

Kaz winked saucily. "I shall give you a little make over for the party tonight and you will rock the socks right off Jacob's feet."

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Quinn stepped back in to their dorm room and waited silently, willing Kaz to look up from her book. She felt a strange mixture of discomfort and exhiliration, almost as if she was playing dress-up and was unsure of the result.

"Uhhh. Ta-da?" No response. Kaz was deep in to the latest Game of Thrones novel. Quinn cleared her throat and tried again. "What I meant to say was Ta-da!" she said effusively.

Kaz glanced up and hopped off her bed in one fluid move. She scurried over to Quinn, carelessly tossing her book on the floor and studied her for a few seconds while Quinn squirmed in her new all-black ensemble. The outfit was all Kaz's, right down to the soft, red suede boots. 

"Why, praise Jesus! And Alexander Wang! And all the clothes I've had to wear twice because I couldn't fit anything else in to my suitcase because I brought along those damned boots!" Before long Quinn and Kaz were in a fit of giggles as they praised everything they could think of, including the bird outside their window that woke Quinn up every morning. 

Quinn had to admit that she felt different but she couldn't deny that there was also a sense of delight that came with her friend's positive feedback. Kaz had done her hair and make up too, turning her lanky reddish-brown strands in to a mass of soft waves, not to mention the fact that she was suddenly a couple inches taller as she tottered around in the new heels. 

"No, seriously" Kaz said smiling, "you look amazing! I have no idea if you're feeling this look but you've got to experiment until you find your own thing. Feel free to dig through my closet anytime, although I have to admit I left most of my closet at home."

"Thank you Kaz!" Quinn smiled back at her friend, clasping her hands in gratitude and meaning it. She really did feel better about herself, despite not feeling quite like regular, old Quinn. But maybe that's a good thing... Quinn reflected as she waited for Kaz to get dressed for their night out at the lake.

They were the first to arrive, so while they waited for the others Quinn began to build up the bonfire just like Anoki had taught her. Kaz busied herself with choosing the music from the old boombox that lived its perpetual existence upon a nearby tree stump.

Kaz was pouring beer out of the keg someone had graciously dropped off before the girls had arrived when their classmates started to drift toward the growing bonfire. Kaz lined up the now familiar red plastic cups on the picnic table and people snatched them up as they arrived.

Quinn poked nervously at the fire as she stole quick glances at the new arrivals. She wondered if Jacob would show up and if he did, what she might say to him.

She was focusing all her energy on turning over a wayward log when she felt firm hands grab her hips and a low voice in her left ear. "Well, Quinn Hudson. Turn around so I can see just how beautiful you look in the firelight." Quinn dropped the branch on to the grass and spun around to meet Jacob's dark brown eyes. She flushed at the compliment, even as she internally rejected it as being overly generous.

Jacob gently moved her away from the fire and over toward the edge of the growing crowd. Quinn tried to look anywhere but his face but once again his piercing gaze drew her eyes upward to meet his own.

Jacob stared at Quinn long and hard. "So... I know you've been busy since the party -- well, actually I should say we've been busy since the party with finals and everything but..." he trailed off, looking expectantly at Quinn as if waiting for her to respond.

Quinn hadn't yet had a drink since she'd been so busy trying to poke her anxiety away in to the fire pit. She was at a loss for words as usual. She could sense that Jacob was hoping for a specific response from her but she had no clue what he wanted to hear.  Instead of saying a word, she grabbed hold of Jacob's hands and squeezed them.

Again, that same electric current moved up her arms and made her feel heady while at the same time moving downwards and stirring her acutely between her thighs. She squeezed harder in response to the messages from her body and met Jacob's eyes. Once again she found their lips drawing together like a magnet.

Her eyes fluttered as their lips met and she moved her body ever closer to his. There was chatter all around her and somewhere in the background she could faintly hear Anna and Kaz having a heated debate about whether or not cheese was the most delicious thing a person could ever eat. 

And then Jacob's kiss deepened and Quinn was lost in the warmth of the fire at her back and the growing heat creeping up the front of her body. She wriggled closer to him just as he gently placed his thigh between her legs. She felt a burst of unexpected pleasure and made a noise that sounded like it landed halfway between surprise and arousal. She could feel people's heads turn and, suddenly terribly self-conscious, she broke away from Jacob's grasp.

"I'm going to grab a drink. I'm parched," she mumbled, before somewhat frantically making her way over to the picnic table and grabbing a beer.

Quinn's mind was whirling. She felt caught in a trap - albeit a very sensual trap - between what she wanted and what she feared. She tried to plaster a smile on her face to cover up her mounting insecurities. On the one hand, she was really attracted to Jacob. On the other hand, she was a virgin even though she would soon turn 21. And perhaps the term virgin was underselling it a little bit. She had only ever made it to first base and that was with Jacob at the keg party. There were still a few bases to explore before it was time to try and hit a home run.

Part of her felt like she should get it over with - just cash in her V-card and get some life experience. But the anxious feeling in her gut seemed to rival the feeling of being deeply aroused and she wasn't sure which feeling to trust. She stood alone, reflexively swallowing her beer until she realized that she had emptied the cup.

Why don't you just go and talk to Jacob about it? she chided herself. Of course. That would be the best solution. Having tidily solved that problem she scanned the crowd looking for Jacob but he seemed to be missing. She wandered around the fire asking everyone if they'd seen him. Only Zofia had an answer for her. "I think I saw him leave about five minutes ago," she said a bit icily, giving Quinn a pointed look for the second time that day.

Quinn could see Kaz standing on the opposite side of the crowd staring intently in to the bonfire. She paused for a moment, watching her friend. Although it was sort of funny to watch Kaz sleep, it was downright odd to see her alone and so deep in thought. It was completely the opposite of the way Quinn felt when she watched her friend paint.

It wasn't that Kaz wasn't a deep thinker, it was more so that Quinn always thought of Kaz as being too confident and chilled out to worry about those deep thoughts. It was one of the reasons that she envied her friend so much - she just let things slide off her back and moved on, unlike Quinn who seemed to ponder every detail of her own existence until she couldn't think straight.

"Hey! Kaz!" she called out as she made her way over. Kaz didn't move at all, staying frozen in place as though someone had come along and cast a spell on her. "Kaz?" she called out again as she drew near.

Suddenly Kaz's gaze shifted towards Quinn and the strangely blank expression was replaced with a huge smile that looked almost comically demonic as her eyes, caught by the firelight, seemed to glow. "Hey chick! Where's your lover boy?"

Quinn was still trying to discern what, if anything, was wrong with Kaz when they both heard a shriek from the nearby lake and they stopped and swiveled their heads toward the sound. It was followed by something, or perhaps someone, splashing in the pond and then a ripple of laughter.

Kaz rolled her eyes. "Kids" she said, sighing melodramatically. Quinn laughed and watched her friend start twirling around to the beat of the music. "So...? What happened to Mr. Lover Pants?" Kaz questioned her again as she danced in a circle around Quinn. 

"Ugh. I think he left." Quinn's face was downcast as she pondered whether her behaviour was sending out mixed messages to Jacob. "Can we just not talk about it?" Quinn felt confused and suddenly tired. "I guess I've sort of lost the desire to be here..." she trailed off feeling a bit sorry for herself.

Kaz grabbed her arm and yelled "Race you home!" and then took off like a shot in the direction of their dorm. Quinn smiled gratefully and raced after her friend, tottering slightly in the red suede boots.